Not the way I planned
I was the one who came up with the idea. Three weeks ago. Do you think I can take part when it finally comes to it? NO! Damn it.
The Lord of the Rings-race tonight, at Sara's place. Everybody'll be there, except me. I'm stuck in bed with a dog on my belly. ILL. Having a cold or whatever.
It's chill (to have a cold - höhö), but I can't really enjoy it because of a blocked nose, sore throat and a body like a spagetti monster. Can't even study (which means it's bad). BUT I'm not complaining, I'm not a victim. I just feel a bit hideous.
Absent home from school. When I don't have anything better to do, I'm watching TV. The first time I do it for that reason since... I don't know when. Hope to get better soon. Driving next week föhelvete. Good this happened now, and not on Sunday night. Always look on the bright side of life. DUdu... dudU, duDu, dUdu!
What if India doesn't work out? To be realistic... A volunteer project in the mysterious orient means a lot of money. I would be able to afford it through scholarship for example ...but I can't apply for that until I know exactly what project I will attend. And I can't apply for a project until I know I would be able to afford it. Catch 22.
Det suger.
I don't doubt my capability of planning and organizing this, though - because I really, really want it. But. The problem is this stupid time limit. The longer it takes, the less time I have to plan something else if it - for some reason - wouldn't work out in the end. Do I dare to take this chance? ...or risk?
Maybe it's better to wait a bit. Next autumn, after GG '09, save the money until then and do it for real. Stay as long as I want, without pressure from school to perform and getting valued through marks.
It is good in one way though. I mean, I don't have to feel like I'm giving it up - I'll just postpone it a bit. Because. Even though it's sad, I will save all this information which can be of benefit later on. E.g. all those organization links and scholarships, ready to apply for next year. It's not really now or never, if you think about it.
So.. rune stone? Mjaaa, I'm still intereated, but compared to this adventurous India project, a rune stone feels ... too unadventurous.
If not India, I'll save the money to do something cheep (sheep) instead. What about hiking in the Sweden? Gash. Me and my ideas. But that is actually an alternative to me. Me and Eppsi. Perfect. Cheep, realistic and adventurous.
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